Whoever said love was a bitch, really got it spot on. If I could lived my life without it – and honestly, I would have. But it’s when it sneaks up, before you have any idea. And you find it, potent and life changing without thought. That’s what really sends you for a loop ….
Now – normally I can avoid it. By dating / whatever you want to call it with M.E.A.N.I.N.G.L.E.S.S people. All people that, in their right are incredible and a miraculous and should find worthy of pure happiness and whatever perfection life can find for them .So while I honestly only want the best for the all, I sadly know that isn’t me.
I have someone – who is brilliant. Handsome, brilliant, funny, quick witted and basically everything I would want. They swept be off my feet in a week, that would have been right out of cheesiest dime store novel, if I read that type of thing. Anyone would honestly be lucky to have him. He is insanely prefect for anyone …. Except me., Did I mention first he lives all the way across the country, so I would have to leave everyone that means anything to me. And on top of that my family HATES HIM ….. and while it ‘s a long story. One that I know he has nothing to do with, at this point there is nothing I can do to change that . And while I LOV him ….. I’m not sure if I LOVE him.
He is a awesome guy, but still when I describe my prefect guy, the guy I would give up everything for —— he is not it. But when I’m being hinest the guys that I think would be me, the ones I really want – never want me. What’s that about??
And then there is option two. Which really isn’t a option (seeing as they don’t want me) . But they server as more of a cautionary tale. While I really want them and have and have an insanely HUGE crush on them … they aren’t into me…. So, OK I get that, but are they serving more as an example – that I should wait for something I truly want … or settle for what wants me.
Fuck love —- why are you such a bitch????